Hangin' is too good for 'em...

The elephant in the closet

2010-03-07T12:31:00.000-08:00

Some people get their words in a twist, others confuse their sayings. Like hobo from Wakefield:

dave you need to get tough on Immigration as that is the big elephant in the closet.

Do Daily Mail readers love a twisted idiom?

They fucking love 'em.

"Your wife died? Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. YOUR CAT WAS KILLED AS WELL? THERE IS NO JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD"

2010-02-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

A young woman was found dead in her home. She had died of carbon monoxide poisoning. Her husband arrived home to find his wife dead in the bath and his parents unconscious downstairs. Even the pet cat was dead too. It's a tragic story, as Sue from 'somewhere in the UK' attests.

Poor pussycat, cats are usually sensitive to dangerous smells humans cant detect probably the reason it was found in the hall trying to get out.
- Sue, somewhere in the uk, 20/2/2010 17:33

Poor old pussy indeed.

Screw geography, those islands are ours

2010-02-18T14:54:00.000-08:00

Argentina and Britain are engaged in a bit of sabre-rattling/cock-measuring over the Falklands. Tony from Dartford is not standing for any of their geographical bullshit.

The only claim Argentina has on the Falkland's is that they are near them. If that was the case all islands in the world should belong to the country they are near utter tosh.
- Tony, Dartford, 18/2/2010 10:52

"Ooh, my name's Jose Manuel Evita. I think I have territorial claims based on geography, not sheep." Nutter.

Occasionally, a martyr comes along:

Britain is a small country thus the people of it have small man syndrome..always looking for a war. Now red arrow me but you cant get away from the truth.
- rodney, swiss cottage, 18/2/2010 15:16

Tis a noble thing to die for the truth, Rodney. Are you set for the same fate as St. Sebastien? Will Daily Mail readers tie you to a tree and pierce your body with arrows, like latter day Romans?

Yes.

Don't mess with Prince Pete

2010-02-18T14:22:00.000-08:00

Rule number one when commenting on the Daily Mail: don't fuck with Peter Andre.

Aside from calling Princess Diana a slag, Claire couldn't have got a lower rating.

David Cameron LOVES Eric Bristow 4 Eva x x x

2010-02-18T03:07:00.000-08:00

David Cameron has outed himself as a darts playing, Guinness drinker. If it was meant to ingratiate himself with Mail Online readers, he failed. Graham Showell just didn't want to hear about any of it.

I don't really care what he enjoys doing in his spare time, that's his own business and nothing to do with me.

Quite right, Graham, politics has become trivialised.

My only concern is what he's going to do about the appalling mess that this country is in as it doesn't seem to be much, if anything at all.

Exactly, Graham.

Oh well, I'll just vote BNP then !!!

Why not? In for a penny, in for a pound. Nice one Cameron, by drinking Guinness you've just made another BNP supporter. Prat. But Daily Mail readers won't support shilling for a racist party on their website, will they?

Oh.

What d'you mean it's got a mute button?

2010-02-17T06:45:00.000-08:00

Daily Mail readers are a reasonable bunch AS LONG AS YOU DON'T FUCK WITH THE VOLUME DURING TV BREAKS. ITV have been censured for cranking up the volume during ad breaks, much to the chagrin of middle England.

About time too i was sick to " deaf " of having to grab the remote everytime the adverts came on it realy did spoil what you were watching
- Gaz, n/e, 17/2/2010 9:49

Geddit? Lolz.

What a load of lying scumbags there are at the ITV

- Mike, Alicante, Spain, 17/2/2010 8:55

I got annoyed when they ran those rip-off phone lines, but this just takes the biscuit.

One person came up with an ingenious plan to reduce the noise of these adverts.

Just turn down the volume then!
- Sam, Bradford,West Yorkshire,United Kingdom, 17/2/2010 9:33

A reasonable solution that many would probably support.

Oh.

Sure, "science" says it's getting colder...but how do they explain this frozen water falling from the sky?!

2010-02-16T02:59:00.000-08:00

Climategate continues. The world is still being lied to. If only people listened to Jacki from Florida, the scales would fall from their eyes.

Has anyone ever heard of 'common sense'?

Why is it that almost all 'global warming' conferences were snowed out.

Irony only takes us so far, how about blatent evidence?
- Jacki, Kissimmee, FL USA, 14/2/2010 3:39

YEAH! Up yours, science. But, c'mon, surely people realise you can't judge climate change on whether or not it snows at a conference?

Oh.

Sterilize 'em - it's the only language they understand...

2010-02-15T16:33:00.000-08:00

A woman (or James Milner) is pregnant with her fourteenth child - after having the previous thirteen taken away from her. It's quite a sad story, from any point of view. Peter from Bournemouth has a fair solution, though:

Darwinism in reverse. Forced sterilisation for both of them.

- Peter, Bournemouth, 15/2/2010 15:32

That's okay, the internet is full of nutters. You can't suggest that all Daily Mail readers are as intolerant as crazy Peter from Bournemouth.

Oh.